Reason Woman Is Letting Sister’s Mortgage Application Fail Applauded

Mortgage application

A woman has been urged not to co-sign her sister’s mortgage application.

In a viral Reddit post with 13,000 upvotes at the time of writing, user fancyapanda explained that she has been saving for years for her own house.

“I work in software, so I make decent money, but it still takes forever to build up a good down payment,” said the 28-year-old. “Meanwhile, my younger sister (25F) is in grad school with barely any credit.”

According to data firm Statista, obtaining a mortgage loan in the United States has become increasingly difficult. Young adults are the most affected, with about 25 percent of respondents aged 18 to 34 saying it would be easy to get a mortgage as of August 2024.

“Except for the oldest generation, respondents of all age groups were overall more positive about their chances of being approved for home financing before the second half of 2021, when the monetary policy started tightening and interest rates rising,” wrote Statista.

A stock image a home loan application. A woman has been warned against helping her sister’s mortgage application.

bankrx/iStock/Getty Images Plus

In some cases, lenders may require a guarantor to co-sign a loan, taking on legal responsibility if the borrower can’t repay it. This means that if the homeowner fails to make a payment, the co-signer will be responsible for the debt. For people with bad credit, like the younger sister, co-signing may be the only way to get mortgage approval.

The user wrote: “Our parents (both mid-50s) found a house near them and decided she needs it. They made an offer—without telling me—and now the deal only goes through if I co-sign.

“The problem? I had no clue they’d do this. My parents basically dropped a bomb: ‘You have the best credit score—co-sign so your sister can get the house!’ They also hinted I should chip in for the down payment because ‘you’ve got the money.’

“If I co-sign, I’ll be on the hook if my sister can’t pay. She’s still in school, has debt, and zero backup plan. The bank might also reject my future mortgage application since they’ll see I’m already tied to another loan. But my parents say I’m ‘selfish’ and ‘forgetting family values.’ My sister’s calling me a monster for leaving her ‘stranded,’ and my mom threatened to cut off any future financial help (like wedding money) if I don’t help right now.”

She concluded the post by stating that she feels guilty. She later updated the December 26 post to reveal that she was adopted as her parents were struggling to conceive, but a few years later, they had a “miracle baby.”

“Ever since, it’s felt like my role in the family became ‘the older, adopted one,’ while she was the golden child who could do no wrong. Growing up, I was expected to pitch in more, be more responsible, and generally look out for my sister,” she wrote.

Expert Insight

Newsweek previously spoke to Jennifer Kelman, a family therapist, licensed clinical social worker, and parenting expert at JustAnswer, an online Q&A service connecting users with experts.

She said: “Money conflicts with family members are a common experience and can cause a lot of tension if not addressed properly or in advance. Often, if one family member has a better financial situation, it may be seen that they should be responsible for the bulk of the cost of activities, vacations, etc.

“This alone can cause tension because the family members that may have a better financial situation may feel taken advantage of, while the other family members may feel that since they can afford more, they should help out.”

To resolve money arguments, Kelman suggests sitting in a quiet moment and communicating your own feelings around the issue.

Reddit Reacts

So far, the popular post has over 4,000 comments.

“Absolutely do NOT co-sign. NTA if you refuse. Let your mom not pay for the wedding. If she’s threatening now, she will again. In the end, she probably won’t. But that’s not the main reason not to co-sign. The main reason is there is a huge chance you will be in debt for a house that is not yours,” said one comment with 10,000 upvotes.

“If they can’t co-sign on the house themselves, they have already blown their retirement. There is no wedding money; this is just more emotional manipulation,” said another user.

A third commenter wrote: “Never ever co-sign for anything for anyone. I don’t care who they are. NTA for following basic common sense. Your parents’ demands are ridiculously unreasonable.”

Newsweek reached out to u/fancyapanda for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Do you have a monetary dilemma? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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